Hurt: A Quil and Claire Story
by MidnightWriter246
Summary: Claire's family is killed in a car accident when she was driving. She is now suicidal and starts cutting herself. Can Quil save her, or will he lose her. It doesn't help that a new vamp is in La Push. Rated M for blood, language, and future lemons.
1. Chapter 1: Lost

Chapter One: Lost

Claire's Point of view

All that was running through my mind were the family memories over and over. Blurring until it was like a movie playing in my head. I never thought that today was the last day I would ever see my family. It all changed in the blink of an eye. My parents had been drinking. My mom was sick in the backseat of the car, so my dad asked me to drive. Forks is a relatively small town. Not that many people were driving at night. Especially when it was raining as hard as it was. My little sister, Noah, was asleep in her car-seat. I could hear my dad murmuring soft soothing words as my mother threw her head into the bucket that the restaurant provided us, and was violently puking. It started raining harder. I was straining my eyes to see. Quicker than lightning, headlights were speeding toward our car. I swerved hoping to dodge it, but it rammed right into us. The car started spinning. Glass was flying everywhere. The car flipped over, and over again. Finally, the rolling and spinning stopped. My legs were crushed under the steering wheel. I could feel blood soaking my clothes through what looked like a stab wound on my stomach. I turned my head, with effort, I saw my parents, both dead. I heard Noah cry out. As I looked her way, another set of bright yellow lights speeded towards her side of the car. I tried to reach out to her. She cried out once again, but her scream was cut off by another car ramming into us causing the car to slide and tumble on its side. The last thing I saw before everything went mercifully into oblivion was my little sister. My sweet, innocent, one year old sister, her face smashed in like a soccer ball that had been kicked too hard. Right then, I knew I would die.

Quil's POV

I was with Sam, Emily and their son, Adam, when we got the call. Sam got up to answer it. "Hello?" the person on the other end of the phone buzzed out an answer. "Are you sure?" was Sam's anxious reply. The phone buzzed again. "Thank you for telling us. We'll be there shortly," Sam said quietly. As he turned to face us, I felt the steel cables in my chest pull away from me painfully. He looked at me in the eye, "Claire's been in an accident," he whispered. Emily gasped and her hands flew to her mouth as tears filled her eyes. I couldn't move. My heart squeezed and I struggled to breathe. "Josh, Anna, and Noah didn't make it," he said softly. Emily's wails brought Sam running over to her. The news of her sister dying was almost too much for her to bear. "Claire made it through the crash," Sam continued, "But it's not looking good right now. Her heart keeps giving out." That was all he said before I ran out. The anger burning a hole in my chest, then the shaking started. I phased and threw back my head with a loud pained howl.


	2. Chapter 2: Pain

Chapter 2: Pain

Quil's POV

I ran into the hospital and ran up to the desk. "Claire Phillips," I gasped. "Room 313," the nurse said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. I ran to her room. Doctors and machines surrounded my Claire. She was bruised and bloody. I shook violently at the sight of her, but not from rage. I shook because I was scared I was going to lose her. The heart monitor didn't pick up her heartbeat. I sunk to my knees on the ground. I sat there and waited. Waited and prayed. Prayed that she would live, prayed I could hold her again in my arms. Doc. Madison came rushing out of the room. Seeing Claire's blood splattered against his coat was enough to make me sick. My stomach heaved but nothing came out. "Can I see her?" was all I managed to choke out. "Yes, Quil. You can see her. But you need to be prepared if she doesn't make it through the night," was his tired reply. I rushed into her room, but then I just wanted to walk right back out. Her face scratched and bruised, limbs in casts, and her breathing irregular and shallow. This couldn't be my Claire. My Claire, who was so alive and happy only hours ago. I grabbed a chair and took my sweet angel's hand in my two large ones. A silent tear ran down my cheek. They were soon followed by others. The salt water came faster and faster from my eyes, like a water faucet being turned on to the fastest point it will release water. I gingerly picked up Claire's small hand and placed a kiss very gently on it. I laid my head next to hers on the pillow and whispered, "Claire, honey? I need you to fight. I know you're tired sweetheart, I know. But, I need you to wake up. I need you to live, because if you don't, I won't make it much longer." I looked at my angel, who had me wrapped around her finger, who had been so hurt, and I gently smoothed her dark hair from her beautiful russet skin. I kissed her hairline, her cheeks, her eyes, her chin, her neck, and finally I kissed her lips as my tears continued to fall. I thought about the worst pain I had ever gone through, it was nothing compared to the pain of the girl I loved so much. Her pain is worse than dying by a vamp's venom.

Claire's POV

Am I in heaven? No, I can't be. There's too much pain, and an incessant ticking noise. I feel warmth against my hands. Suddenly, I start to remember everything. My sister's face pops into my head. I open my eyes and let out a long strangled sob.


	3. Chapter 3: Remebering

Chapter 3: Remember

Quil's POV:

I had just fallen asleep when Claire's eyes popped open and she let out a long strangled wail. "She's gone," she screamed, "Oh God, why did you take her? You should've taken me!" I didn't know what to do. Every sob she gave clogged my throat so I couldn't speak. Every tear she shed cut across my heart. I couldn't find words so I stroked her hair and her face and cried along with her. Then she collapsed against my arms and the heart monitor stopped beeping and instead let out a loud monotone shriek. I looked up from Claire and saw that her heart had stopped again. I carefully picked her up and started shaking her. "Claire? Claire! Claire, wake up! God! Oh, God. No, Claire! Claire, honey, I need you to open your eyes and look at me. Please! Breathe! God dammit! Claire! Breathe!" I reached past her head and pushed the emergency call button on the wall. I screamed at her, I told her she was being selfish if she didn't open her eyes. I cried and screamed and begged and stroked her hair, all to no avail. I kissed her lips forcing air into her chest. I felt her chest expand. Doc Madison rushed into the room with several nurses following at his heels. They had to tear me away from Claire and pushed me outside where I was met by the pack. It took all of them to hold me from rushing back into her room. I watched in agony as they shoved a tube down her throat and grabbed shock paddles. One of the nurses got on top of the bed and straddled Claire's chest. "Clear," she said, and Claire's chest convulsed. They repeated this for what seemed like three hundred lifetimes. Her heart didn't restart. The steel cables attaching me to her began to snap.

One…

Two…

Three…

Each one snapping back at my heart. It seemed like each whip of the cords drew blood. It hurt so bad I wanted to rip it from my chest. I sagged to the floor. Sam and Emily reached for me, and I stared at them with empty eyes. Then, the cables seemed to reattach themselves. I heard the faint flutter of a heart. _Her_ heart. I ran into the room, pushing the nurses and the doctors aside. I pulled her against my chest tightly, but gently. I kissed her forehead, "Please," I whispered into her ear, "Please Claire, I can't lose you." And the tears fell again.

Claire's POV

"_Please," he whispered, "Please Claire, I can't lose you." _

How could I tell this man, who I'd fallen so madly in love with that he already had? Even if I did survive, I could never be the same Claire he once loved and knew. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to remember those I had loved and lost. How could I tell him, he already lost me? That's just it, you can't.

_**I have Chaska Borek in my mind when I think of Claire. Here is a link to see a picture:**_

.com/imgres?imgurl=.com/_mm/_d/_ext3/87555/big_Chaska%&imgrefurl=.com/ads/chaska-borek&usg=_GlCG68A63f8K2EACZNnrhSi6Mg=&h=606&w=400&sz=29&hl=en&start=53&sig2=_Jtahbo7xPOODyckuBWUiQ&zoom=1&tbnid=IRiWjmrsOdnloM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=99&ei=oephTYilOYP88AbjhomoDA&prev=/images%3Fq%3DChaska%2BBorek%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG%26biw%3D1021%26bih%3D422%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C1519&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=367&vpy=51&dur=968&hovh=276&hovw=182&tx=115&ty=252&oei=huphTb_VDYa5twfQ3f3sCw&page=6&ndsp=12&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:53&biw=1021&bih=422

_**And Quil:**_

_**The same person in the movie. **_


	4. Chapter 4: Waking

Chapter 4: Waking

Claire's POV:

After a few days in and out of consciousness, I was fully awake. Emily, Sam, and Quil were in the room with me. We tried not to talk about the accident, but the knowledge of it hung heavy in the air. Living arrangements were made. I would be staying with Quil, because if I lived with Emily, Sam, and Adam, it would remind me too much of what I had lost. With my heart being stable for now, I was released from the hospital after a few weeks. I hadn't really spoken much since that night. Only answering questions or responding to a hello or goodbye. Quil was there through it all. Through the days trying out physical therapy for my head and neck. My legs, which were both broken, we would have to wait months before they could heal enough for me to try physical therapy. Quil sat beside me and held my hand when Doctor Madison announced my injuries and what would I like to do about the funeral plans. I couldn't answer so Quil did. We didn't want to look at their mangled bodies, so cremation was the best route. I didn't want my family to be trapped in jars, so on their birthdays we will spread their ashes in the wind. Each person having their ashes spread in their favorite place in La Push. Since my sister didn't have one yet, we will release them in the woods by the beach. When Quil took me to live with him, I was embarrassed. One, because I couldn't even go to the bathroom by myself or use the stairs. I was helpless and I didn't like the feeling. Two, we were alone in that house because Quil's grandpa died years before. We left the hospital with him pushing me in a wheelchair. He had to pick me up and put me in the car. We drove in silence. He tried to make conversation, but all he got were, "Yeah, I guess, Sure, Not really, Mhmm, No," etc. When we reached his house he pulled all of my crap out of the trunk and put it in the spare bedroom. Then he came back for me. Instead of just putting me in my God damned chair, he carried me with ease into the house. He set me on the bed of my new room. It was white. All of it. The walls, curtains, bed, pillows, furniture, everything. He said it was to give me a "fresh start". None of it mattered. To everyone else I was the girl who was orphaned. To me I was the girl who murdered her family. While Quil went to get my chair, I sat thinking. Just thinking, a jumbled mess of thoughts and memories, with my family. You know the ones you don't really remember and don't seem that important until everything is gone? Yeah, those were the ones. The one I thought about the most was my sixteenth birthday. I don't really know why. Quil came back in the room then. He set my wheelchair by the bed. "Well," he said quietly, "I'll leave you to unpack then." I just nodded in response. He walked swiftly over to me. When he reached me he lifted my chin to meet his gaze. He pressed a burning kiss to my forehead. "I love you," he said. I pulled my head from his hand and looked away. I couldn't say it back like I usually did. He sighed and left the room. I knew about the whole werewolf thing, but I still didn't know how strong his enhanced hearing was. When the door was shut and I heard footsteps going down the hall, I whispered, "Why? Why do you love me?" I swore I heard the footsteps stop and come back this way. But no one came in. The memories started again. Starting from my earliest memory to the night of the crash. The faces of my family laughing at dinner, the sound of my mom puking, my dad whispering to her, my sister sleeping, then the headlights, spinning, flipping, my parents dead in the back seat, my sister screaming. By the time this memory came around I was already crying, but remembering my sister's last moments was what sent me screaming and wailing. I couldn't get to her. Suddenly, all I wanted was Quil. I wanted him to hold me, and whisper things that meant nothing but comforting me all the same. "Q-Q-Q- Quil!" I screamed, "Quil!" I realized that even though I may not want to rely on him that I still needed him. "Quil!"

Quil's POV

"_Q-Q-Q- Quil! Quil!"_

I heard her screaming and crying before, I wanted to go to her then. Emily told me that there would be times when she would just want to be alone and cry. I told Em I might have to leave because I didn't think I could sit there and listen to her pain. I heard her ask why I loved her, but I didn't want to tell her about the imprint yet. She had enough to deal with. "Quil!" She screamed again. I rushed into her room, what I saw gripped my heart painfully. She was on the floor, crawling towards the door. She was crying so hard she struggled to breathe. I rushed over to her, rolled her onto her back and picked her up bridal style. I laid her down on the bed and lay beside her. One of my arms wrapped around her waist and I buried my face in her hair. She gripped my shoulders tightly. I whispered things to her. "I'm so sorry," I said into her hair. "It's my fault!" She yelled. I hugged her to me, being careful not to bump her legs. "Oh, sweetheart," I said. My voice shaking. "It's not your fault. Your father shouldn't have made you drive through a storm like that when you are still so new to driving." "I reached for her," she said, "but I couldn't get to her! She screamed and I couldn't get to her!" She yelled into my shirt. Her tears soaking the fabric. I held her and rocked her, she calmed down after a while. She fell asleep in my arms. I was so grateful that I had not lost her. I pulled her closer to me. I stroked her arms and her cheek. Most of the cuts were only scabs now. She would have a scar on her chest and stomach from were glass had stabbed and cut. I think it was good that I hadn't found her because I don't know if I could've handled it. Paul and Rachel were the ones that found her first. That's another reason I hadn't phased. Paul was really bad about not thinking about this kind of stuff. I didn't want to see her like that. All bloody and broken. It was bad at the hospital, but it would have been ten times worse at the scene. Just thinking about it hurt. I looked at her sleeping form and I bent my head down and kissed her gently. Then I moved my face to the hollow where her shoulder meets her neck and I breathed in her scent. I took deep almost gasping breaths. She stirred beside me. I looked at the clock; she had slept for a good 45 minutes. I pulled back to look at her face. Her eyes fluttered and she opened them. I looked into her big brown eyes and they seemed empty almost. That worried me. Soon, she leaned forward and kissed me. It wasn't the quick sweet ones that we usually shared. I let my tongue graze her bottom lip expecting her to pull away. Instead, she shocked me by opening her mouth and grabbing fistfuls of my hair and tugging me closer. I darted my tongue in her mouth and tasted her. She tasted like apples. Just like her smell. We stayed like this for a few minutes, lips and tongues moving in sync. I pulled away first and she was gasping. She buried her face in my chest and I stroked her hair. Her heart, like mine, was pounding. I was a little freaked out for a second because of her heart problem. She seemed fine so I told her I would make dinner. It was like, 6:00 after all. I kissed her briefly one last time, then got up and headed to the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5: First Time

Chapter 5: First Time

Claire's POV

After Quil left I felt the familiar ache of losing my family all over again. I opened my suitcase and started unpacking my clothes. I grabbed my chair and tugged it forward. Then I plopped into it. It hurt a little because of the bruises. I grabbed a handful of my clothes and set them in my lap. I decided which drawers would hold which stuff and put all of my clothes away. I went back to shut my suitcase when I found it. The pocket knife my dad gave me. I pulled it out of my suitcase and set it on my bed. I shoved my suitcase under my bed. I couldn't try my experiment with Quil here because he would smell the blood. I would have to wait until I was alone. Just then a small knock was at my door. I grabbed my knife and slid it under my sleeve. "Yes?" Quil quietly opened the door. "Hey," he said, "I need to go to the store to get something for dinner. Do you want to go?" "Um, no I think I'll stay here and read," was my reply. This was my perfect opportunity. "Ok. Well, call me if you need anything. I should be home in an hour." He came over and kissed my head and hugged me. I almost felt guilty for what I was going to do. When I heard the engine of his truck roar into life and him driving down the driveway, I slid the knife out of my sleeve. I rolled up the sleeve on my left arm and opened the knife. I didn't hesitate making the first cut. I stung a little but I felt immediate relief. I cut again. I had maybe ten long deep gashes on my arm. I felt kind of dizzy. The blood dripped on my clothes and on the floor. "Shit," I muttered. I rolled my way to the bathroom. I grabbed toilet paper and mopped up the blood on my arm. I grabbed the roll and rolled back to my room. I got my wheelchair next to the bed. Using both the wheelchair and the bed post for leverage I cleaned up the blood on the floor. Then I wheeled back to the bathroom to get bleach. I went back to my bedroom. My arms were really sore now. I used the same method and put bleach on the floor and scrubbed. I was about to change clothes when the front door opened. "I swear my heart stopped for a minute. "Claire?" Shit! It was Quil. "Uh, just a second!" I yelled through the door. I started pulling out clothes from my drawers. I pulled my shirt over my head, hissing at the sting in my arms. I pulled my long sleeve black night shirt on; my shorts still had a drop or two of blood so I grabbed a blanket from my bed and threw it over my lap. "Come in," I said. Quil came in and when he walked over to me his eyes went wide and an expression twisted in his face that could only be described as agony.


	6. Chapter 6: Shocking Discovery

Chapter 6: Shocking Discovery

Quil's POV

I could smell bleach and blood. I was only gone for maybe twenty minutes. How could she have done that to herself? I ran over to her and yanked off the blanket from her lap. Her shorts had spots of blood. I grabbed her arms and wrenched up her sleeves. She tried to fight me, but I was too strong. I found them. The long, deep, oozing gashes on her arms. I sank to my knees in front of her. I grabbed her shoulders and started shaking her. "Why?" I half yelled. I gritted my teeth, waiting for an answer. I was mad. Really mad. I started shaking. I couldn't phase not here. I jumped up from the floor, grabbed everything sharp from her room and walked outside. I threw all of it in the trash. Every single thing, except the knife. I would keep that in my room until I thought she could be responsible enough to have it back. It was a gift from her father after all. I started for the woods. I couldn't take her to the hospital. They would suggest psychiatric help. I couldn't do that to Claire. I knew she would never be the same Claire as before. She would always carry that burden. I just hoped that one day she knew that I would never leave. I would always be here. I envisioned the cuts on her arm and nearly vomited. Then I got angry all over again. The shaking came back, red spots blurred my vision, the burning sensation in my body came, and I exploded with a snarl. _DAMMIT! Those were my last pair of shorts!_ I heard Embry and Paul. _Hey man! _Embry said. I guess Paul sensed my distress and he said quietly, _what is it Quil? _I didn't want to think about it but the images came anyway. Her arm bloody and swollen. The blood on her shorts. Her fighting against me. _Dude, that's harsh. _Embry thought. _Shut up, shut up, shut up! _I barked. _Embry, I think it's best you left Quil alone right now, _was Paul's smooth calm answer. He had calmed down a lot since he and Rachel got married. They were expecting their first kid in December. I know I probably shouldn't have done this, but I needed to see the faces that haunted Claire so badly. _Paul, show me what you and Rachel saw that night. Uh, Quil are you sure? _Paul asked hesitantly. _I need to see it Paul. If I am ever going to help her I need to see it. _He seemed to struggle making a decision. _Please Paul. _He began to show them to me. He didn't hold back, but I didn't want him too. The car was mangled. Her mother and father unrecognizable. Her sister's face caved in. Blood pouring from the wound in her stomach. Cuts on her face, neck, and arms. Blood spitting from the gash on her chest. Her legs were smashed from the steering wheel where one of the cars had smashed the front and trapped her inside. I whimpered and winced a few times. When the ambulance came and they cut the car open and got her out and on a stretcher was when it really hit me. Before it all seemed like a bad dream. The put an oxygen mask on her and started an IV. The last Paul saw of her before the hospital was the ambulance driving away. The sirens screeching. I darted further into the woods and collapsed beside a tree. I phased back and lay there naked. I was a screaming, crying, wailing, mess. I needed to see that. Even though it hurts like hell to know that this had happened to her. I laid there for almost an hour, screaming into the dirt. That's where Paul and Embry found me.


	7. Chapter 7: Apologies

Chapter 7: Apologies

Quil's POV

I couldn't look at them. I didn't want them to see me like this, but I knew they already had. Paul touched my arm and I looked up. He looked tired, worried, anxious, and sad. Embry tossed a pair of shorts into my face. I stood up and pulled them on, then started walking back to my house. I heard them following, so I turned around. "Guys, I'm okay. I'll call you if I need you," I said softly. My eyes and throat hurt like the fires of Hades. Embry turned back almost immediately but Paul lingered. Paul had also become Alpha since Sam stepped down. Rachel was still only twenty five to his twenty eight. He gave me the once over before following suit. I walked up the porch steps, each step seeming to get heavier. I trudged silently through the small house to the last room on the right side of the hall. I knocked on her door, there was no reply. I waltzed in and saw her staring through the window just in time to see it start pouring down. I made my way toward her. She just stayed in the same position. I knelt by her, and grabbed her hand. I cupped her face with my free hand and tugged her face until her eyes met mine. Her expression was blank. Just like her room. I rubbed her cheek with my thumb. Nothing happened, not even a blink. "Claire, why? Why did you do that? I know what you went through now," I said softly. "But, why do that instead of just talking to me? Surely _that _isn't better than talking to someone?" Silence. Not one word. "It's just easier," she whispered quietly, closing her eyes. "Claire, open your eyes. Please? I know it may be easier, but life is hard sometimes and you just have to work through the bumps. Even if the bumps in the road are huge, you can always find someone who can help you through them." Her eyes snapped open then. "Really? And who might this person be and where could I find them? I should have died that night Quil, but I didn't. You cannot sit there and tell me that that wasn't messed up! God, you don't understand. Don't even pretend to try," tears were running down her cheeks now. I gathered her in my arms and cradled her in my lap as we sat on the floor. I rubbed her back and smoothed her hair. "Shhhh," I whispered my voice trembling, "Oh Claire. Honey, shhh. It's okay now. I'm here, I'm here. Nothing's going to hurt you," "Can y-y-you m-m-make me for-r-g-get?" she asked suddenly still crying. "I don't know sweetie. I really don't. I can't promise that it will stop hurting, but I can promise I'll be here to help you," We sat like that for a while. I started rocking her and our stomachs growled. "I'm not sorry," Claire said after a few minutes. "It hurt a little but I felt relief Quil. For the first time in weeks I felt relief." I started shaking a little bit. I took deep breaths. Inhale…Exhale…Inhale…Exhale. "Frankly, Claire, I don't give a damn if you felt relief doing that. You are not, do you hear me, NOT going to do that again. If I have to stay here 24/7 and bring you with me everywhere, so help me God I will." "You can't stop me," she said. Anger clouded her face. She yanked up her sleeve and her teeth closed around a cut before I could stop her. Blood poured from the cut once again. I growled and rolled her onto her back. I held her arms above her head with one hand. I was situated between her legs, using my elbows to keep my full weight off of her, but still touching, I said slowly, "You are not cutting yourself again. I will not allow you too. You are not to hurt yourself again." "Oh, yeah?" she asked rolling her eyes, "What are you gonna do about it? Yell at me? Yeah Quil that'll have me shaking in my casts." She closed her eyes, and took deep breaths. I couldn't help it. I was mad, and I needed her to know I loved her. No matter what I would always love her. I crushed her lips with mine. She tried to wriggle out from under me. I wouldn't let her. I forced her mouth open and tasted her. She began to relax and kiss me back. I let her arms go, and moved my hands to tangle my fingers in her hair. She arched her back against me. I moaned into her mouth. I moved one hand to her hip. She gasped. "I," I said releasing my mouth from hers, "better not find out you are hurting yourself again or else there will be Hell to pay. You understand me?" I said placing a kiss on her lips after every word. "I understand you talk too much," she breathed. I laughed then grew serious. "I mean it," I whispered. "It was bad enough for me to see you in the hospital Claire. All bloody and broken," my voice cracked and wobbled and tears filled my eyes. I bent my head and laid it on her chest. "It was horrible. I can't bear to know you are hurting yourself Claire. That takes strength that I don't have. Even as a werewolf," My shoulders shook, and I couldn't be strong for her anymore. I let out my breath with a sob. The sobs kept coming, and I felt her run her hands through my hair. I slid my arms under her back to wrap around the tops of her shoulders. Her chest shuddered with her own sobs. I pulled her tighter against me. Still using my forearms from under her to bear some of my weight, I slacked letting most of my weight fall on her but still light enough she could breath easily. When our crying calmed and our sobs ceased I moved my arms to roll her shirt up. There was wrapping against her stomach my stomach clenched at the sight. She moved to pull the shirt back over, but I stopped her. I looked into her eyes, "No, Claire, I want to see you. I don't care about that," I gestured to the gauze, "or that," now pointing to her legs. "Claire, I love you. No matter what, okay?" She looked at me, her eyes filled with tears but she nodded. I lifted up and kissed her again. I rested my head on her chest and listened to her heart. Her hands combed through my hair again. I heard a car pull into the driveway, I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled her closer. "Quil," Emily's voice said through the door. "Are you going to make the poor girl starve?" I growled. As if I would _EVER _let my imprint starve. "We'll be right out Em," Claire said. I kissed her gently one more time and rolled off her. She sat up, and winced. I knew I couldn't have helped it. I just picked her up and put her in her chair. "Come out when you are ready," I whispered into her ear. She nodded. I walked out of the room and into the kitchen where Emily was stirring pots and pans of what looked like spaghetti. I turned instantly at the sound of wheels against the floor. I saw Claire coming towards me. Then, Eli ran up to her and said, "Where's NoNo?" Claire's eyes filled, "She's gone," she whispered. She rolled quietly back to her room. I headed in her direction when a hand stopped me. "Leave her be," Emily said quietly tears streaming down her face.

February

March

April

May


	8. Chapter 8: Worries

Chapter 8: Worries

I was worried about Claire now more than ever. She could walk now but the doctor said she still shouldn't walk too much. Ever since Eli asked her about Noah she barely says anything. She won't talk to anyone. Most days she just stares out her window. I have to watch her to make sure she eats. One day I got angry when she didn't answer me. "What's wrong Claire? You've hardly talked in months." We were in the living room. She wouldn't look at me. It was hurting because if I knew what the problem was I could help. I jumped up from my seat on the couch. "Dammit Claire! How am I supposed to take care of you when you won't talk to me?" "I NEVER asked you to take care of me Quil," She said her eyes narrowing. "To be perfectly honest, I wish you had let me die in the hospital. Then maybe things would be easier for you." I growled, "Things wouldn't have been easier for me Claire. It would have meant me ending up being dead. I would have died. For God's sake Claire! You're my freaking imprint!" I knew as soon as I said it I was in even deeper shit. She lifted her eyebrows. "What… in the hell…is an imprint?" I sighed and sat next to her. "An imprint is," I began, "a wolf's soul mate. Imprinting is like when we see her nothing else matters. You would do anything, be anything, for her. Claire…when I first saw you, when you were two, I imprinted on you. Your parents weren't thrilled about it, but they accepted it. You know how Emily was mauled by a bear? Well, that isn't exactly true. Sam did it. He didn't mean to, but he got angry and Em was standing too close. Also, Sam was dating Leah when he met Emily. He imprinted on her. Jared imprinted on Kim, Paul imprinted on Rachel, Jacob on Ness, and I imprinted on you." She hopped up from the couch, "You son of a bitch! I was two! We never had a choice about whom we fell in love with did we? You forced me into this didn't you! You were always hanging around me, never letting me go on dates with boys. Hell, if a boy even liked me you scared him off!" Well, I guess I deserved this. She has been through so much and I tell her about imprinting at the worst possible time. "I hate you Quil! Why didn't you let me die? Damn you Quil! Damn you to Hell!" She limped off to her room. Even after the months she had lived with me she still kept it white. Like she was waiting for it to be someone else's. _I hate you Quil! Damn you! Damn you to Hell! _It hurt hearing her say she hated me, and to top it off then damning me to Hell was always lovely. _BOOM! SMASH! _"SHIT!""Claire?" I called. I stood up from the couch and walked towards her room. "Claire, are you okay?" "I'm fine Quil, I just dropped something okay?" "Can I come in?" I asked. "Well, Quil I am going to take a shower to calm down so I really don't think you should," she hollered through the door. I sighed and went back to the living room. I turned on the television and flipped to the syfy channel. They had on a crappy movie about werewolves. I wasn't really paying attention to the movie. I was listening, waiting for the sound of running water. I waited for about five minutes. She should have been in the shower now. I walked to her room and knocked on the door. "Claire?" No response. Then I heard the sound of rope or leather straining. I turned the doorknob but it was locked. I had to fight a little too break the door, but I did it. She was on the floor tightening the belt around her neck. Her face was turning blue and her mouth was making shapes but no noise came out. It took me three long strides to reach her and drop to my knees beside her. I quickly unwound her fingers from the belt and unwound it from her neck. She had passed out and quit breathing so I did CPR. I didn't know if it would work, but I had to do something. During my third set of compressions, I said to her, "Damn you Claire. If you die on me I will follow you and make your afterlife a living hell." Her lids fluttered and she started breathing. I cradled her in my arms and stroked her cheek with my thumb. Her eyes opened slowly. "It hurts," she whispered hoarsely. "Well, I would think if you just tried to strangle yourself it would hurt," I answered. "Not that, Quil. Knowing my family is dead, knowing that I killed them; that's what hurts." My heart squeezed. At the same time my arms tightened around her. "Please don't make me talk about this," she whispered. "I won't make you do anything that you don't want to do. However, you will always have someone with you now. Claire, I can't lose you. That above all other things would kill me," I told her. "I'm really tired. Can you help me to bed Quil?" "Yeah," I whispered to her. I picked her up and carried her to the bed. "Just turn around for a minute so I can change clothes." I did as she asked. "Okay, I'm decent." She had changed into a white undershirt and black running shorts. I could see the scars from her cutting herself. I reached out and touched them. They still brought tears to my eyes every time I saw them. "Quil," she reached up and touched my face, "don't be sad." "Yeah. You should go to bed now I guess," I said. I bent and kissed her forehead. I had reached her door, "Well, that's gonna have to be fixed," I muttered to the broken frame. "Hey, Quil?" "Yeah," I said turning around. "I love you, and I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it," she whispered. "I love you too sweetheart, now get some rest. Don't worry about it," I said to her. I did a quick once over to see if there was any hint of her hurting herself further. When I was sure she wouldn't, I left her bedroom in silence. I went straight to my room changed into a pair of sweatpants, and crawled into bed. Since Claire had moved in, I stopped sleeping in just my boxers; instead I had on a pair of sweatpants that I would wear. I still didn't wear a shirt but that was better than what I used to wear. I closed my eyes, and focused on her scent. I took deep breaths and soon that familiar black blanket covered me.


	9. Chapter 9: Nightmares

Chapter 9: Nightmares

Claire's POV

I was walking through the forest. I knew I was dreaming because I was barefoot and I was in the same clothes I had gone to bed in. I enjoyed the feeling of the cool mud between my toes and the tree branches against my skin. I heard voices, "_Help usssss," _they were saying. "_You did thissss to usssss. YOU killed uss," _My family walked towards me. They looked as they had after the accident, but with maggots and their flesh rotting. My mother was carrying Noah. _"How? How can I help?" _I shouted to them. Silent tears were staining my face. _"You have to join usss in deattthhh Claire," _Noah said. _"Okay, but what about Quil?" "He cannot join usss. You must sssacrificcce him for usss," "I can't!" _I shouted, _"I love him!" "Then you will never beee withhh ussss." _I screamed at them, _"Don't leave!" _But they were already gone. I woke up shaking and gasping. I threw back the covers and padded down to Quil's room.

Quil's POV

Claire and I were walking through the woods. She had walked ahead of me; I jogged up to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. _"I love you,"_ I whispered and kissed her cheek. She turned to me, her face blank. She pulled out a knife from my back pocket. _"Claire,"_ I said, _"Claire, what are you doing? Claire!" _She had the knife at her throat. _"Goodbye Quil,"_ she whispered, _"I am setting you free." "NO! CLAIRE! DON'T! NOOOOO!" _She dug the knife into her throat and ripped it across her jugular vein. I tried to stop her, but my arms went straight through her like I was a ghost. She collapsed to the forest floor. I dropped her down beside her. I grabbed her in my arms and pressed a hand firmly on her neck. _"Claire? Claire! Claire, no! Please baby, no! Don't leave me! NO!" _I pressed my face into the crook where her shoulder met her neck and cried. I whimpered and cried louder when the cords started snapping. It felt the same as in the hospital except they didn't reattach. "CLAIRE!" I sat up straight my eyes flying open. My bedroom door opened and Claire hesitantly walked in. "Can I sleep with you?" she asked. "I had a nightmare." I flipped my sheets back and she walked toward me. "Sure sweetheart. I had a nightmare too," I told her. She had crawled in the bed beside me. She faced away from me though. After my dream I had the overwhelming need to just hold her. I needed to hear her breathing beside me. I fit myself to her. I could feel her crying then. "Awww sweetie it's okay. I'm here, it was just a dream it's okay. Shhhh," I started rocking her slightly hoping it would calm her. She gripped my arms tightly. The images of my dream came into my head. I gripped her tighter and I felt that familiar lump form in my throat and the stinging in my eyes grew. A few tears leaked from my own eyes and spilled into her hair. "I love you," I whispered slowly. "I love you too," she whispered back. We fell asleep like that. We were locked in each other's arms so tightly I don't think God himself could have moved us apart. The nightmares we had that night were destroyed by our embrace. At some point in the night Claire rolled towards me and with my eyes still closed, I bent and brushed my lips with hers. "I love you," I whispered for the last time that night.


	10. Chapter 10: Mornings

Chapter 10: Mornings

Claire's POV:

I woke up with my face still pressed into Quil's chest and his arms wrapped protectively around me. He was whimpering in his sleep and his forehead was all scrunched up. His arms wound tighter around my hips and waist. "Claire," he whimpered, "Claire, don't leave me," He let out a soft sob. "Quil," I said, "Quil, I'm right here. Wake up Quil." He started thrashing around in the bed. I had to fight to get on top of him so he would quit moving. I kissed his forehead and he woke up and sat up quickly in the bed and wrapped his arms around me. He hugged me tightly and buried is face in my neck. "Quil, what is it? What happened?" I asked. He just shook his head from where it rested against my shoulder. "Quil, if you let go of me I'll make breakfast." "No, I just want you to stay here with me for a little bit," he said into my neck. His warm breath sent shivers down my spine. Our stomachs growled loudly. I moved to get up but Quil flopped me down on the bed and moved to hover over me. He kissed me hard and urgently. "I don't want you to leave," he said looking into my eyes intently. "How about we both get up and go make breakfast together?" I compromised. He rolled his eyes, "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're a werewolf and don't think about how food gets prepared. You only think about how much is going into your stomach," I giggled. He growled playfully. He stood up from the bed and offered me his hand. He helped me up, and then he grinned wickedly before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. "Quil!" I screeched, "Put me down! Put me down right now! Quil!" I started kicking at his face and hitting his back and shoulders. He started walking down the hall that led to the kitchen and living room. When we reached the kitchen Quil set me down on the counter. I opened my mouth to say something rude but Quil stopped me by crushing his lips to mine. I just sat there for a minute until he whimpered against my mouth, then I tangled my hands in his thick, jet black hair. His hands were firmly planted on my hips. He suckled on my bottom lip. I let one hand trail down his bare chest and he gasped/groaned against my lips. His hands traveled from my hips to rest on my stomach under my shirt.

Quil's POV:

When her small cold hands traced the muscles of my chest my heart felt like it was going to explode. I moved my hands from her hips to rest on her stomach where hopefully one day my child would grow. I gently traced the scar on her stomach. I tugged my lips from hers reluctantly but I then knelt down by the counter and I was in front of her stomach. I tugged her shirt up and kissed her scar. I heard sniffling from above me. I raised my glance to see Claire wiping at her cheeks. "Claire? What is it?" I whispered, standing up. She just shook her head like I did this morning. "Claire, baby, please talk to me," I said trying to meet her eyes. "I'm damaged, scarred, and a killer. Why do you love me? I don't deserve you. I'm not good enough for you," she whispered. "What?" I asked. I was shocked. How could she feel this way about herself? I had to make it better. "Claire, I love you because you are sweet and selfless. I love you because you're beautiful and everything that I'm not. I love you because you're perfect for me," She had looked down and was silently crying. Claire didn't usually sob or scream. She just sniffled quietly and made you feel like scum if you made her cry. She wouldn't look at me. "Look at me," I whispered. She still wouldn't. "Claire, _Look at me._" She snapped her head up and I wiped the constant flow of tears from her cheeks. "You are not a killer," I said firmly. "You are not damaged. And I will love you until diamonds never sparkle and flowers cease to grow. When thunder never echoes and rivers don't flow. When hearts no longer wonder and hands are never held. When smiles are only memories and hope is never felt. When trees no longer bloom and stars refuse to shine-" She cut me off and whispered, "When God alone commands me then I will stop loving you." I kissed her softly and said, "Let's make breakfast." Our stomachs were not happy with us right now. While making the pancakes Claire took some of the batter on her finger and rubbed it on my nose. She laughed and ran down the hall to try to hide in the bathroom. "Oh hell no," I said and raced after her with the rest of the batter in the bowl on my hand. I blocked the door from closing with my foot and then pushed it open. I slipped inside and locked the door behind me. She looked scared. But like in a playful way. Like when you know you're gonna get hit with a water balloon type scared. The pancake batter was dripping from my hand and I grinned evilly. I wiped my hand from her chest down to her stomach. She screeched and glared at me. She lunged and tried to push me away from the door. I grabbed her and threw her in the shower and turned the water on. Before I could leave the bathroom though she grabbed my arm and tugged me into the shower with her. Her white shirt was now see through and I gulped loudly. She wasn't glaring now. She smirked at me and wound her arms around my waist and hugged me. My mind was telling me to push her away but, God I couldn't and I hugged her back. She looked at me and I kissed her lips roughly and led her to the back of the shower and propped her up against the wall. She wrapped her legs around my waist. She tugged her wet shirt off and threw it outside and it made a PLOP sound. My chest was pressed against hers and I groaned. Her nipples were hard against my chest. I used one hand to balance us on the wall and the other to find her breast. I bent my head and traced her scar there with my lips then I took her nipple in my mouth. I heard her groan wildly and grab my hair to tug me closer. I sucked her nipple hard, and again thought about how different they would be if we had a child like I hoped. I was painfully hard and wanted friction to release the pressure. I thought about the promise I made Sam that we would get this physical until she was 18 and instantly I pulled away and stormed out of the bathroom. I couldn't look at her or I wouldn't be able to resist. I felt bad for leaving her without an explanation but I would have to explain later. I went into my bedroom and locked the door. I changed clothes and sat on my bed and tried to think about anything but Claire. It was impossible. I could hear her walking down the hallway and I heard her stop at my door. "You know Quil if you didn't want me all you had to do was say so," she said quietly. I growled, had she not heard me earlier? I wanted to go to her and scream in her face how much I wanted her. I wanted to shake her hard enough to get that into her brain. I wanted to use all my strength to just keep her in my arms. Once I was calm I went out to finish making breakfast. I heard her in her room throwing stuff around and the occasional sniffle. My heart ached knowing I did this. I made her cry. I put my head in my hands and took deep breaths. Suddenly my heart seemed to leap from my chest and I cried out. It hurt really badly. Instinctively I ran to Claire's room to grab her and crush her to my chest to protect her from harm. But when I pushed the sheet serving for a door aside. I saw empty drawers and an open window. Then I heard it. A gunshot and a howl.

_**Oh I know I am so mean I left a cliffhanger. I know that Quil and Claire are really wimpy right now but Claire I made her that way because of her loss and Quil will get to be a hard ass later on. This chapter is the closest I have come to ever writing a lemon. Also this is my first fanfic so please be nice and keep that in mind. This is the last chapter I am writing if I don't get at least 5 reviews. Five reviews people that is all I'm asking for just so I know people are actually reading this. If no one is then there is no point in me writing and posting is there? Anyway some of the events in this story are loosely based on some stuff going on in my life. I used to self harm still in therapy for it so I know what I am talking about when I write the scenes when Claire harms herself. Bye for now!**_


	11. Chapter 11: Running

_**Just because I love the reviews I have gotten so far I will actually write the next chapter. One of the reviews stated that my chapters are too short. I know this and it frustrates me to the point I am pulling out my hair literally. I keep trying to make them longer but then I have to edit them so it makes them shorter. Plus if I write a long chapter it ends up being two chapters and then my story doesn't flow the way I want it too. I am glad that you all are enjoying my story. I just had a feeling to write this a couple of years ago but never did. But since school is out for the summer I have more time and should be updating more frequently. But also right now I have to share my laptop with my mom so it may be a few days to a week before I update so I apologize in advance. If you have any ideas for the story like what you want from the story leave it in a review and if it goes along the plot I am using I will totally use it and give you credit before the chapter starts. So NOW to the chapter and sorry for the long author's note. I can be a little long winded sometimes.**_

Chapter 11: Running

Quil's POV:

I ran outside and into the woods and phased.

_Shit, if Quil finds out…_I heard Jared's voice trail out.

_EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP! HE'S HERE! _Paul and Embry thought.

_What happened? Where's Claire? WHERE IS SHE? _I yelled, panicking. I ran where their voices were. I saw all of the wolves, even Sam had phased. They were in a circle and closed all of the gaps so I didn't have a chance in hell to see what they were hiding.

_Quil you don't want to see this. _Sam said softly.

_Sam, PLEASE let me through. Please Sam, I'm begging you._

_Quil, I can't. I can't command them now and you know it. I am no longer the Alpha. _He said sternly. I saw regret and pain in his eyes. I knew it wasn't because he wasn't Alpha anymore. He was ready to step down so he could age with Emily and their son.

_Paul, _I said softly, _Is it Claire? If it is I have a right to get through. _

Paul looked hesitant. I could feel the conflict within him to lead his pack to protect me or to let me see what I needed and had a right to see. He slowly nodded to me and ordered the pack to move. They remained statues for only a moment before they split in two to let me pass through them. I weaved my way through them and stood in front of my sweet Claire. My sweet, dead, Claire. The bullet wound went straight through her skull. There was a small trail of blood by the entrance wound. I knelt down beside her and pulled the top half of her body in my lap. I stroked her hair and sniffled. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. Then, I noticed something. The cables attaching me to her weren't snapping.

_What do you mean, Quil? How can it not be her? _Embry said.

Before I could answer, Brady came running like there was no tomorrow.

_There's a new leech! Claire's sent is with he- Wh-wh-what happened? _He stammered, looking at Claire.

_It can't be her Quil. She can't be dead she was with the leech a few minutes ago. Her scent was too strong for her to be dead._

_I know Brady. I'm going to find her. _

_**Okay, so I know this one is really short but it's the best I could do without writing the next chapter with it. Anyway, keep up the reviews and I'll keep up the chapters.**_


	12. Chapter 12: The Kidnapped Runaway

_**Ok, so I know I'm like twelve chapters late but I own none of the characters. Except for this future vampire. **_

Chapter 12: A Kidnapped Runaway

Claire's POV:

I was shocked when all the sudden Quil wasn't with me and I was alone in the shower. I thought, he thought I was pretty. I guess all my scars really got to him and he is really only doing this out of pity. I quietly turned off the water and stepped out. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body as I walked slowly to the door of Quil's room. Was it really this morning when we had kissed and hugged and said I love you to each other. It seemed like years ago now. I took a deep breath and said softly to Quil, who I could hear grabbing the mattress and breathing deeply, probably trying not to think about how ugly and wimpy and needy I am, "You know Quil, if you didn't want me, all you had to do was say so." I heard him grip the mattress tighter and growl and I knew I was right. He was sick of me. He probably was ready for me to turn 18 in a few weeks so I wouldn't be a burden to him. I went to my room and shoved the curtain that I placed there for a door last night in place so I could get dressed without disgusting Quil. I pulled on a long sleeved blue sweater, and then I rethought it after I remembered that Quil's favorite color on me was blue. I yanked it off and pulled a black sweater on, faded jeans, and hiking boots. I was going to be walking for a while. I pulled out some of the money from my sock under the bed, and my duffle bag. I emptied out my drawers and put all the clothes into my bag. I cried a little bit because there was never a day that I remember without Quil there with me, and after finishing packing and climbing out of my window there would be years where I wouldn't see Quil. I jumped out of the window with my duffle bag on my back. I went through the woods, so that maybe it would be harder to find me, hoping to get to a gas station for water or something. I sat down at the trunk of a tree and cried. Everything that mattered in my life was gone. Quil hated me, my family was dead. The pack had more important things to worry about than a depressed teen. God, I was pathetic. I just wanted to die so everyone could be free. I reached into my duffle bag and found what I was looking for. The box of blades I picked up a few weeks ago. I grabbed one out of the box. I drew my arm sleeve up, and quickly started slicing over the long scars that marked the previous times I had mutilated myself. But this time Quil couldn't save me. Quil wouldn't save me because I wouldn't let him. He would never again have my heart to break. I was dizzy but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. I needed this, I needed him but he would never come. "I love you Quil. I'm sorry I messed up. I'm sorry I'm not what you need me to be. You'll find your real imprint someday." I collapsed against the forest floor. I heard the wind blowing and the tree branches swaying. I heard howls and a gunshot. Then, I was being lifted by a cold pale face. He looked down at me, his blonde shoulder length hair blowing in the breeze. I instantly knew I was being held by a vampire. The pain in his black eyes was terrible to look at. I knew he was in pain from the smell of my blood.

"Who are you?" I whispered hoarsely.

"My name is Zevran, Claire. Don't worry I'm going to take care of you," he said.

I felt an odd sense of recognition in this man. I also felt love. Nothing compared to what I felt to Quil of course, but I felt like I'd known him. Like he was my best friend all of my life, but I never remember seeing his face. Quil was the only man in all of my memories.

"I'm afraid I don't know who you are," I said softly.

"Don't worry about it. I don't expect you to remember me. You were just a baby when we met. I met you before that dog," He growled out the last part. "He stole you away. He made you forget about me. But everything's okay now because you're here with me and I will never allow you to be separated from me again. He thinks you're dead and now everything is perfect. We'll get married, and I will turn you into a vampire so we can be together forever. Like we always dreamed," He kept rambling about how much he loved and missed me. I kept thinking of Quil. I missed his warm embrace. I shivered in the grip of the man holding me. I was too weak to try to get away. His eyes darted down to me, when I shivered again.

"Oh, my love. You're cold aren't you darling? Don't worry we're almost to our destination. Then I can take care of you properly," He said.

I was too tired to even think I fell asleep in his arms. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but my heart yearns for my Quil. I felt Zevran stiffen above me and he started running faster, causing the wind to make me even colder. My teeth started to chatter and I was shaking.

"I'm so sorry darling. It will get better, we are arriving to my home, and I lost the dog following us. We should be undisturbed now." We stopped in front of a castle. He carried me inside and set me down on a soft bed. My arm was so sore. I was still shaking. Zevran brought a steaming mug of what looked like tea over to me. My heart swelled remembering when Quil brought me tea when I had sprained my ankle when I was fourteen. It was so hard to believe that just four years ago, I only saw him as a best friend and thought that he was unapproachable. I took the tea and sipped it carefully. I set the mug on the nightstand beside the bed. I then proceeded to squirm down under the covers. Zevran picked up my arm and he growled.

"He made you do this to yourself didn't he? I will make him pay, my darling. He will never be happy after I'm done with him," He gently kissed each cut. I was wondering how he was doing this with so much control. Most vampires would have already eaten me. He gently pulled off my sweater. It felt wrong. I don't want this. He wrapped my arm with my sweater.

"I'll be right back," he whispered.

He was gone like a bullet released from the barrel of a gun and before I could count to three he was back with a roll of gauze and Neosporin. He gently kissed me on the lips, and I pulled away immediately partly from his ice-cold lips and partly because I knew I only wanted Quil. Zevran looked hurt and like he would cry if it was possible. I hated it. I hated making anybody cry. I touched his face and he looked at me.

"I don't know you. Well, if what you say is true, I don't remember you. I'm sorry but I love Quil, and only Quil. He's had my heart since I sneezed on him when I was two, and he took care of me when I was sick," I told him softly, "I'm sorry but I can't love you. I can't love anyone anymore."

"You're wrong Claire. You will love again. You will love me again," He was staring at my chest. I grabbed the covers and yanked them up.

"No, Claire. Don't hide from me. He reached for me and I scooted back until my back was against the headboard.

"I don't want this. Please don't," I whispered, my voice shaking.

"Claire, my darling, it won't hurt for long."

"I DON'T WANT THIS! I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!" He had ripped the covers away from me and was hovering over me. "QUIL!" I cried.

"DON'T CALL FOR HIM!" Zevran yelled. "He won't save you. You are mine now. You hear me? MINE!"

"P-P-Please," I sobbed, "I just want to go home. I won't tell anyone, I swear. I just want to go home."

He got up and walked to the door soundlessly.

Then, flipping off the light, he said, "You _are_ home Claire. And you're never leaving again."

He left without another word. I cried myself to sleep thinking of Quil. I would never doubt my love for him again.


	13. Chapter 13: The Chase and Birthday

_**I got one review on the last chapter. One. I feel unloved. Anyway, I am still going to continue writing but only if I get reviews. I have no motivation otherwise. By the way, has ANYONE guessed Zevran's gift. No? Well, if you review and tell me what you think if you get it right I will mention you in my next chapter only if you want me to. If you don't, simply request it in your review. I have to give a huge sparkly twilight loving thank you to my number one reviewer and author alert/story alert person. Also I don't know if you guys have heard of Dragon Age: Origins, but that is where I based Zevran. But my Zevran and their Zevran are completely different I just liked the name so much that I decided to use it so that goes to its rightful owner(s) **_

13: Part 1: The Chase

Quil's POV:

We'd been running for days. We would catch the scent and lose the scent. Brady had said the leech was male. I didn't want to think about what the sick bastard could be doing to my Claire. I hadn't slept or eaten since the day before she disappeared. I could barely function. Sam threatened to tie me down and force me to eat and at least sleep a few hours. I told him to think about this as if it was Emily missing. That pissed him off but I don't really give a damn. I felt like such a girl because I was crying all the time, but my soul mate was missing and could possibly be hurting. Everybody else was aching to get back home to their imprint, but Claire was their sister and they refused to let her down. Paul was the worst, he was worried about Rachel. There were a few scares about the delivery and she is being hospitalized.

_What if something happens to her? _He whimpered to himself constantly. _I hope the baby is alright. _

They had decided to keep the gender a secret until the birth, but I could tell Paul wanted a girl. I could understand. Girls had less of a chance to have the gene while boys were pretty much guaranteed to have it. I was in my human form now; I was too tired to run and had no fuel to keep me going. I was just about to fall asleep when Claire's voice pooped into my head. _A castle Quil. Find the castle and you will find me. Hurry the hourglass in almost empty! _The last part freaked me out because it was like I was watching _**The WIZARD of Oz**_. I always liked that movie but hearing the last line in Claire's voice was extremely creepy. I jumped up and let my anger at Claire running away and the leech kidnapping her fuel my anger. Soon enough, I felt the air blowing gently through my fur like Claire's fingers did when I first told her I was a wolf.

_Guys look for a castle; do you know if there is one around here? I know if we find one we will find Claire. I can feel it. _

Immediately answers came rushing into my head. Yes there is a castle, they knew where it was. Jason, the most recent to join, was leading us there. In about an hour we had reached the front door.

_**WARNING WARNING! GRAPHIC RAPE DESCRIBED! IF THIS BOTHERS YOU, DON'T READ!**_

Claire's POV: Chapter 13: Part 2: Birthday

The sick bastard raped me. There is no real way to describe rape. It's painful, scary, and I lost more of myself in those few moments than I ever had in any other experience. I cried, he slapped me every time I tried to get away and then told me he loved me in the same breath. He held my hands above my head with one of his. I felt my wrists bruising with his strength. I wished with all my might to rewind time to go back to Quil. I prayed he would save me. But he never came.

Once, when I was little, my mother told me that one day I would have the life every little girl dreamed of. Where's that life now? He's finished now for the time being. He ties my arms and legs to the bed so I won't try to run away. But where would I go. I've lost faith and hope that Quil will find me. I'm praying for death. I like to think that the stars are the eyes of those who've passed. I can only hope one day that I can be beautiful like the stars. I want to be beautiful, not broken. But, that's all I am now. I am a broken body, a broken mind, and a broken soul. I will never be beautiful again. No matter where I go, I will carry my broken parts with me. As I lay there, a prisoner tied to the bed, I thought of poems about death. I always liked poems about death and suicide. I don't really know why. I guess I just liked the angst and the sad stories. I remembered one specifically.

"Be gentle, sky, and let me rest –  
These bones are worn – they lack the zest  
Of flesh in life – they're marrowless! –  
Their arid surface, nakedness! –  
Betrayed in death; no sheen of red  
From coursing blood; and blue was shed  
Upon the fading out of eyes  
That cased the world and gave disguise  
To what my deepest thoughts had been –  
But now I'm done with all I've seen."

And I remember another. One that would always haunt me in my mind. It seemed written for me. It was always my perfect idea of a suicide note.

"I sit in the park where I dwell,  
For this boy I love so well.  
Took my heart away from me,  
And now he wants to set me free.  
I see a girl on his lap.  
He says to her what he never said to me.  
I run home to cry in my bed.  
Not a word to mother was said.  
Father came home late that night.  
He looked from left to right.  
He saw me hanging from a rope.  
He took his knife and cut me down.  
On my dress a note was found:  
Dig My Grave  
Dig It Deep  
Dig My Grave  
From Head To Feet  
And On The Top  
Place A Dove  
And Remember This  
I Died For Love!"

I never thought that suicide would look so beautiful and peaceful to me until after my family died. I regret now living in the dark instead of enjoying my time with the man I loved. I'd found out earlier that today was my eighteenth birthday.

"Happy Birthday to me

Happy birthday to me

Happy birthday Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to me."

I sang this softly. A few tears leaked out of my eyes. Quil wasn't the first one to sing this to me as he had every year. He was always the first person to sing it to me, and before I went to sleep he would sing it again. I was cold. I didn't even want to think his name, HE just left me laying here naked strapped to the bed. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, HE was there. And by the look in his eye I knew he was up for another round. I started sobbing. I never usually made a whole lot of noise when I cried. Only if I was terrified or in extreme pain did I cry loudly. He shed of his jeans, boxers, and his t-shirt. I tried fighting against my tourniquets, but I was too weak.

"Ah, I see you are not quite ready for another go? Oh well, I will have to make do." He said this as he was rolling a condom onto himself. And then he jumped on me. I screamed and his fist came down and connected with an already ugly bruise that devoured most of my right cheek. He immediately forced himself into me and started pumping hard and fast. I felt my thighs bruise even more at the impact. It hurt so badly. The burning from the first time hadn't ceased. And he was biting my neck. Not hard enough to break the skin but hard enough to hurt. I cried and begged him to stop, but his only response was to thrust harder. I knew then that this was my life now. Something for this vampire to fuck when he felt the urge. I slowly felt like I was being pulled out of myself. I could look down at the scene and I felt and saw everything he did to me. I felt him bite my nipple and I again cried out. He slapped me, and kept going. He slowed down but continued to thrust painfully. I shut down. I let him do everything and anything just so he would stop. After probably fifteen minutes of absolute agony I felt him start to swell and I knew he was close. He managed to pump harder and harder with each thrust until he grabbed my breasts and squeezed them until they where bruised and he gave a loud grunt. He slowed and became more gentle as his orgasm over took him. He grunted with every stiff thrust. He thrust slowly and gently into me three more times before he collapsed in a heavy heap on top of my chest. His head rested between my breasts, his arms locked in a vice grip around my waist, and he remained inside of me. He snuggled closer and moved his head to where it lay on my right breast and his cold cheek rubbed my nipple. I was in so much pain. I was so cold and sore. After probably an hour, he raised his head. I had goose bumps and was shivering but I was trying not to move a great deal because that would her more. He gently picked me up and carried me to a bathroom. There was a large tub of steaming water and he set me gently into it. He kissed my forehead and left the room. I sunk my head below the delicious warm water and didn't rise until I felt him pull me by the arms out of the water. He then carried me bridal style into the tub again. He sat behind me and with both hands groping my chest he made me lean back onto his chest. He nuzzled my neck and started to make a purring sound. He traced all of my scars, new and old with his fingers. He moved my raven hair to drape across my left shoulder like a curtain. He then started to massage my shoulders and back. He may have felt nice if his hands weren't ice against my back. I felt the once hot water already turning cold. He grabbed some shampoo and massaged it into my scalp. I sat there knowing that soon I would be tied to the bed again only to wait for his next assault. He finished with my hair and commanded I turn around to clean his for him. I did as I was told and I saw his eyes roaming my body and felt his hands grab my butt. I saw him smirk once before his mouth returned to its thin line. He stood up and pulled me with him. He draped a towel across my back and gently rubbed, drying me off. Knowing what he would make me do next I grabbed the other towel and rubbed him down. He took his time with me and I just dried him off as quickly as I could. He wrapped his towel around his waist and he wrapped my towel snuggly around me. _**Okay rape scene over, rape scene over!**_

He picked me up and carried me to a new bedroom.

"I thought you might enjoy this room better than your old room." He whispered into my ear.

I nodded stiffly, and muttered a thank you. He handed me a night gown and as I lifted my arms to pull it over my head I yelped from the pain. His head snapped in my direction and his eyes looked worried which I internally scoffed at. He was already dressed in pajamas, and was over at my side in a flash. He helped me get dressed and he helped me walk towards the bed after I told him I was tired of being treated like an invalid and being carried everywhere. Every step sent fire to my once untouched place. I lay down slowly in the bed and He pulled the covers up to my collar bone. Zevran then walked to the door and turned out the light and I was enveloped in darkness again. I was so tired and hungry. I hadn't slept or eaten since he raped me the first time. I couldn't eat because I would throw it up and I couldn't sleep because I would dream. He climbed into the bed and again laid his head down on my breast.

"Will you pet my hair?" he asked softly. Almost like a child asking his mother to comfort him. I gingerly ran my fingers through his hair trying to imagine it was Quil's head and his hair but this hair was too long and coarse. Zevran sighed after a few moments and nuzzled my chest. I stopped for a moment to think but, He looked up at me and whispered,

"Don't stop please. It feels good."

So I continued to run my fingers through his hair. I didn't sleep even though I wanted to. I looked over to the clock and saw it was eleven fifty-nine pm. My birthday was almost over.

_Happy Birthday to me_

_I've been raped today you see_

_It hurt very badly_

_But now I'm finally eighteen._


	14. Chapter 14: Rescue Party

_**Okay. I got a really awesome review and I swear my heart swelled to twice its size. I'm so pleased that you guys are enjoying my story. I think I will begin writing a story about Jared and Kim after I finish with this one. If you want to read the next one I will include the summary of Jared and Kim's story in my next chapter. So I got an answer to the question asked about Zevran's gift. And LedaQuilLove got it partially correct. Zevran's gift does have something to do with making your worst fear a reality. But he is also able to make clones in any number and he can make the clones do different things. But the flip side is he can't make the wolf's imprint a clone really. The wolf will always know which his or her imprint is. Zevran also can't tell which is which like the wolf's can. So, thank you very much for your answer and kind words. You really did make my heart swell! **_

Chapter 14: Rescue Party

Quil's POV

I missed Claire's birthday. I've never missed Claire's birthday. I sang happy birthday to her hoping she would hear it or feel that I knew and hadn't forgotten. Did she even know it was her birthday? I miss her so much. Right now I really just want to see her. To know she is safe. I haven't seen her in two weeks. The sick bastard did something to Claire multiple times. I could feel it. I could feel her fear and anger and pain. I was going to get her home. I was going to get her home and we wouldn't be separated again if I could help it. Right now I was too angry to cry about how much I missed her. Carlisle and his family came with us in case there were any mishaps. As soon as we were at the door of that castle, I pounded the door down in one hit. Then, feeling the pull I raced upstairs. I saw a blonde leach guarding a door at the end of the hall. His eyes were flaming. I'm sure that I was so angry that I could spit fire from my eyes that would put a forest fire to shame.

"You can't have her. I've made her mine now," He said with a smirk. Edward growled and started to move forward, but Bella held him back.

"Not now, we don't want him to hurt her," She whispered.

"I believe we haven't been properly introduced," Blondie said slowly. "I am Zevran. Who are _you_?" He asked.

"I'm the guy who will kill you in about four seconds if you don't release Claire," I spat. "Names don't matter in this situation. If you hand over Claire now, then I will consider letting you live. But I can't promise you will be in one piece."

"Hmmm, let me think…How about…No!" He laughed. "I've been having entirely too much fun with her to let her go now."

"You bastard! How could you do that to her? After all that she has been through you decide to add _that _to her list of things to overcome?" Edward snarled. Zevran just smiled widely. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Edward, what did he do to her?" I asked warily.

"He…I can't. She will have to tell you when she's ready. I…I just can't." He sighed.

"Okay, Blondie, you have exactly ten seconds to hand over Claire or I will rip your head clean off your shoulders stick it on a spike and roast it," I snarled.

"Quil!" I heard my sweet Claire's voice coming from behind the door.

"Claire? Claire! Okay, sweetheart we are going to get you out of there just hold on okay, baby?"

A sob answered her.

I charged at Zevran. I grabbed his hair and pulled at the same time he punched me in the stomach. I let out a loud yelp I felt my ribs break. The others surrounded us in a circle. Paul grabbed Zevran's leg and yanked it off. Zevran screamed. Carlisle dragged me from the fight. I fought against him.

"Let me go Carlisle! I have to rip off that sick fuck's head and get Claire. I have to… I have to…" Edward and Bella had come with him to hold me down. I looked towards the group we had left and saw a dozen Zevran's.

"Why are there so many of him?" I asked quietly, dazed. I knew they had drugged me so I wouldn't move. I vaguely wondered what they used to make me so dopey. I felt Carlisle re-breaking my ribs and I screamed.

"Quil!" Claire sobbed.

"Claire!" I shouted hoarsely and tried to lift my hand towards her direction behind the door.

I could hear her sobbing so I knew she was terrified.

Carlisle had been re-breaking for about five minutes. I saw the pack and the other Cullen's still in battle mode with several Zevran clones. I couldn't tell which one was really him. I figured if we killed the real him then all of the other ones would be gone.

"Find the _real _Zevran focus on him. When he's down the clones will be too," Edward yelled.

"Thanks Ed," I whispered. He gave a brief nod, got up and joined the fray. Carlisle and Bella left me there with strict instructions not to move until I got the okay. Being my lovely stubborn self, I didn't listen. I stood up and hissed silently as I made my way to the fight. The Zevran with the least damage was the real one. I got to him and grabbed his arm while Brady and Collin had his front occupied. I ripped his arms off one by one and listened to the satisfying scream that erupted from his lips. Some of his clones vanished with his arms. I grabbed his head at the same time Brady dropped down. I saw blood spurting from a wound in his chest.

"Brady!" Collin screamed panicked. He didn't know who to help first, his twin or his pack brothers.

"Go Collin! I've got this fucker," I told him. Collin hesitated for a moment before dropping down and grabbing Brady and hauling him off to a secluded part of the hall. I saw Emmett protecting them from some of the clones.

"This ends now, Blondie," and with a final jerk his head came off with a screech and we set his body on fire. His screams now muted, but were not entirely gone. I pounded on the door that kept Claire from me with all my might. Emmett raced down the hall and kicked the door open.

There tied to the bed was Claire, and next to her _another _Zevran.

"Well it looks like you have conquered my little trap," He laughed.

I was wheezing and looked at Claire. Her nose was bleeding, she had dark circles under her eyes, bruises discolored her beautiful face, and she was too thin. I whimpered slightly. I wanted to rush into her arms and sob and have her comfort me while I comforted her. She looked at me and she looked almost dead. I felt the familiar sting in my eyes.

"Aw, is the big bad werewolf gonna cry?" Zevran teased.

I growled and lunged at him. He screamed and his eyes got wide. He grabbed and knife from the bedside table and held it to Claire's throat.

"Stop!" I screamed. Everyone froze. I could still hear Brady talking to Collin and Collin trying to take care of him and stop the now slowed bleeding. Claire fought against the bonds holding her in place but she was too weak. I could see blood dripping from her neck where the blade had scratched her during the struggle.

"Claire, stop moving. We are going to get you out of here. Just, please baby, stay still."

"Claire doesn't want to leave me. We've had so much fun. Haven't we Claire, my darling," Zevran said.

She cried softly and my heart ached.

"Please just let Claire go. Kill me instead but let her go."

"No. You see I rather like having Claire here. After all we were meant to be together before you stole her," Zevran said with a smile.

"How can you say that? You wouldn't even dream of hurting her if you were meant to be. It would kill you to see her in pain. You are not meant to be with her," I growled.

"Actually, I wouldn't have had to hurt her if she just obeyed like a good girl. I'm surprised the little mind reader hasn't told you what games Claire and I have played," He smirked.

My eyes went wide as I sunk in what he was saying. I now understood why Claire had sobbed after that comment he made. Oh my God, he _hurt_ **my **Claire. Okay, now this bastard was really gonna pay. He had been distracted and had taken the knife from Claire's throat. I jumped and landed on him. We rolled of the bed and onto the floor. I could already feel him re-breaking my ribs but, I wouldn't yelp. I needed to be strong for Claire now. Suddenly, his wait was gone but he struck one last blow to my chest. I stood slowly wincing and saw that Edward and Carlisle were holding onto Zevran while everyone else was in another clone war. I hurt someone cough and a gurgling noise. I turned and saw that Zevran had thrown the knife and it landed in Claire's chest directly above her heart. I yelled in my fury and didn't even notice the pain of my ribs. I ripped Zevran's head off and threw it to Paul. Carlisle hurried with me to Claire's side. While he was untying her I moved my ribs back into their proper place. The rest of the pack were starting a fire and throwing chunks of Zevran in.

Carlisle was trying to help Claire but after he had done what he could, he looked up and shook his head. He said, "It seems she doesn't have the will to live."

I stared at him blankly. "What do I do?" I whispered after a moment.

"Give her a reason ," He said.

I gently picked up Claire's beat and broken body and cradled her to my chest. Her eyes were closed, but I had to make them open.

"Claire? Baby?" I asked, my voice cracking as tears threatened to fall. "Claire, sweetheart, I can't live without you. Please don't leave me alone. I want to marry you. I want you to carry my babies. I want you to yell at me in the delivery room about how I did that to you," I choked on a small laugh. "I want to live with you by my side. I want to sit in rocking chairs when we are old and gray and watch our grandchildren play in the yard. I want to die peacefully in your arms. I want all of these things. I want all of this with you Claire. You and only you."

Her eyelids fluttered, and she opened them long enough to whisper, "You came for me," A tear leaked out of her eye. "You came for me." And her eyes slid shut.


	15. Chapter 15: Home Sweet Home

_**I am soooo sorry I haven't updated in forever. I have been super busy between school and other stuff so I won't be updating as regularly but the chapters will continue, I promise. Okay, so I promised I would write the summary of my Kim/Jared story, and here it is…**_

Just Words: I'm Kim. The guy I've loved since second grade called me fat in middle school. I am now an anorexic/bulimic. Jared came back to school today and he looked at me and his eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. Was I beautiful now? Probably not. I'm still 95 pounds. I'm still fat. I'm dying slowly. I know this. Well, am I beautiful now Jared? Or are you finally seeing how much just words can hurt.

_**Okay so there is the summary of Kim and Jared's story. Like I said, I should be starting this after I finish this fic. So, I hope you guys like the summary and read it next. As always big sparkly Twilight lovin' thank you to LedaQuilLove for the inspiring reviews. You are so awesome!**_

Chapter 15: Home Sweet Home

The funeral was today. As always, it rained. We looked down at Brady's body lying in the casket. He looked so peaceful. My poor Claire, she stood silently next to me. She was crying softly. She was still so weak. Carlisle had told me to give her a reason to live and I am so thankful my reason was good enough. She was so thin. She couldn't eat. Every time we tried to give her some sort of nutrients even just soup, she had to go to the bathroom to throw up what little she had eaten. She hasn't been sleeping well either. The first night we got back from the hospital she slept in her bed for a few hours before she woke up screaming. I came into her room and asked if she would feel more safe sleeping with me. She said she didn't know but she was scared of being alone because he would come for her when she was alone. So, for the past week she has been sleeping with me. Neither of us really sleep we just lay there holding each other. I felt more secure with her there, more complete. Whenever I wasn't with her my chest would become tight and I couldn't breathe. She didn't want to talk about what he did to her. I was literally dying because I knew he had hurt her, it was plain. Carlisle said not to force it out of her. That she would tell me the extent of what he'd done when she was ready. I hope she can tell me soon. Maybe it will help her. I had my arm wrapped around her waist to steady her. She wasn't strong enough to walk or stand for a long time. My poor, poor angel. She only weighed about 105 pounds now, and she was still losing more as each day came and went.

"Baby? We need to go," I whispered. She just nodded her head. I lead her to my old truck and helped her inside. On our way home, Claire fell into a light sleep. I gently smoothed a piece of hair from her face. As soon as I touched her she jerked up and screamed, "Please not again! Please don't hurt me again! I promise I won't tell just please!"

I pulled the truck over and looked at her. She was crying, her shoulders convulsing with each great sob.

"Claire? Baby, everything is okay. It's just me and you and he's never gonna hurt you again. Okay baby? Everything is fine," I whispered to her. She silently looked up and the look she gave me broke my heart. She looked like someone with no hope. She was only a fraction of the fiery, fun, loving Claire, I had known for most of her life.

"Can we go home Quil?" She asked softly. "Please?"

"Of course."

"I love you, you know," I said glancing at her huddled form in the passenger seat.

"Don't say that. You don't love me. You love who I used to be. You don't even know me anymore._ I_ don't even know me anymore."

I pulled into the driveway to the house. I went to her side of the car and helped her out.

"You are Claire. My imprint, the love of my life, the smart one of us, and you are my other half that I couldn't live without," I felt my eyes watering but I refused to cry.

A tear fell and stained her cheek. I took my hand and framed her cheek. I pulled her tightly against me in a hug. I rested my cheek on the top of her head and closed my eyes. She just stood there for a moment and then wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. We hugged for probably five or ten minutes, and then she pulled away and silently walked into the house. I followed suit soon after. I heard the water in the bathroom running so I was assuming she was taking a shower. After thirty minutes I started to worry. I walked down to the bathroom and gently knocked on the door.

"Claire, baby?" No response, "Baby?" I said louder this time. "Baby?" I yelled panicked. I tried opening the door but it was locked. I broke the door and almost fell in my haste to get to her. Her black dress wasn't on the floor so I knew she was still wearing it. There wasn't steam on the mirror and the air was cold. I quickly pulled the shower curtain aside and saw Claire huddled in the corner of the shower, shivering.

"Are you cold?" I whispered.

She just nodded. I climbed in the shower with her and turned the water to hot. I sat next to her and pulled her into my lap. Her skin was ice against mine.

"I'm so sorry Quil," she whispered. Even with my hearing she spoke it so softly I almost missed it. "It's my fault. If I hadn't run away then you wouldn't have come to find me and Brady would still be alive and Collin would still have his twin. And… and he wouldn't have done what he did to me."

"Claire, what did that monster do to you? Please tell me, it physically hurts me to see you like this. Please tell me sweetheart. I don't want to do or say anything to remind you of him."

"He-he- he raped me!" She collapsed against me with the force of her sobs. I was shaking and seeing red, but then I remembered Claire and calmed down as much as I could with the fact that I now knew that sick mother fucker raped my girl. I turned off the water and helped a still sobbing Claire back to our room and dried her off. She started removing her clothes and I turned around immediately.

"It's okay Quil. He took everything I have, it won't kill me for you to see what he did," she said softly.

I hesitated before I slowly turned around. Her skin was pulled tightly against her ribs. I could count each and every one. Her chest bore many scars. Some I knew, and some I didn't. Her neck had a small tiny scar where the knife cut her.

"It was more than once," she whispered. She answered my unspoken question. I moved slowly over to her and grabbed her arms gently. My fingers almost went around twice. I trailed one hand over her ribs and growled. I felt the familiar sting of salt water in my eyes and tried to stop. I had to be strong for Claire. I had to be. One single tear slipped out of my eye. I hastily tried to wipe it away before Claire could see, but she gently grabbed my hand. I looked at her slowly. Her eyes held sorrow, but also love.

"It's okay to cry Quil. It helps us let go of things sometimes."

And then it happened. I collapsed to my knees in front of her, wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face into her chest and let everything go. The pain of her leaving, the frustration of not being able to find her, the anger I felt towards Zevran, her pain, the fear of losing her again and not getting her back, Brady's death, her not being able to eat or sleep. Everything I felt I let go of through my tears. She hugged my head closer and I held her tighter. I let out a low whimper from how thin she was.

"It's going to be okay Quil. I'm going to be alright," She whispered.

"Promise me," I sobbed, "Promise me you won't ever leave me again!"

"I made that promise when I heard your voice in the hall that day. I made that promise when I knew you had come for me."

"I'll always come for you. Always. You are my heart Claire. No one can live without their heart."

I slowly stood to my feet. I bent my head down and stopped just shy of her lips looking in her eyes to see if she was frightened. I saw nothing but love, and I wanted to weep again. My brave Claire. She was so strong. She was so much stronger than I'll ever be. I softly pressed my lips to hers in a kiss. She pulled back and looked at me. I saw tears forming in her eyes. She pressed her face to my chest and cried out what she had been wanting to cry out for days. I just held her and rocked her. She wasn't healed, I knew that. It could be a long time before things could get even close to being like they were before. I had waited for her for so long. And now I was even more afraid of losing her. I almost lost her twice and people always say the third time is the charm. Does that mean if she gets hurt again, she won't come back to me? I knew one thing for certain, I wasn't ever leaving her again.


	16. Chapter 16: Recovery

_Hey my lovely readers. I want my reviewers to know how much I appreciate your reviews. They make my day and inspire me to write more. I haven't decided exactly how far I'm going to make this fanfic go so I NEED your input. So will I have more people reading my story about Kim and Jared? I'm running out of ideas so I need some reviews saying what you would like to see in up-coming chapters. _

Chapter 16: Recovery

Claire's POV:

Recovery takes a long time…

Trying to recover after a rape…that takes a lifetime.

_Oh please don't stop reading/reviewing. And please don't kill me. I made up my mind for this chapter to be really short. I didn't want to spend a lot of chapters in Claire's POV after the rape because I would cry and be depressed and the chapters would be sucky. I will have more Claire POV later. Just be patient. Lots of love! _

_Alana_


	17. Chapter 17: Progress

_**Okay, so again I don't really know where to go from here in the story. I think there are only going to be a few more chapters. I have gotten 1 review for the past three chapters. Have you quit reading? Do you hate the story now? Sorry for the long update time span. I have been really sick. I had a viral infection a couple weeks ago and a few days ago I was diagnosed with a bad sinus infection. Today, I went to the doctor and he said I had an eroded esophagus. So I can't eat or drink so I have been down on energy but I will try to update sooner. Please keep reviewing! I'm grateful for the ones I have received and the advice you put in them. **_

Chapter 17: Progress

Quil's POV:

Claire has gotten a lot better in the past few months. She is able to eat now. She still throws up sometimes but it isn't every time she eats. She is sleeping much better too. Sometimes I lie next to her and just watch her. I had thanked all of the Cullens and my pack brothers relentlessly. It was about ten in the morning now, and Claire was draped across my chest, her hair fanning out across my side. I gently weaved my fingers through the silky tresses. She stirred against me and her eyes opened.

"Sorry," she whispered and tried to move off of me, but I held her against me.

"Don't be. Go back to sleep baby," I said kissing her forehead.

"Quil," she whispered.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"How did you feel when I almost died?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and held her tighter to my chest. _I can't answer that. Please don't make me answer that. There are not words to describe how it felt for me to have almost lost you, my love. And not once, but twice. _

"I pass. Moving on to the next question," I laughed nervously.

"Quil, please I have to know. I have to know if you felt the same way as I did when I couldn't talk to you. When I couldn't see you. I could hear your voice, but I couldn't ease your pain. I couldn't tell you how much I loved you and how sorry I was for running away and putting you through all of that for me just being a stupid selfish little child!"

"Claire," I said, taking a deep breath. "There really aren't words to describe how I felt. My heart it was still there but with every beat it hurt worse. I couldn't eat or sleep when you ran away. I couldn't cry because I needed to be...I needed…I needed to be strong for you." My voice was cracking and tears were welling in my eyes. I felt like such a girl. I was crying all the time now. "And I just…I wanted to tell you I loved you one more time, I wanted to have another conversation with you, I wanted to hold you and protect you, but I couldn't! I couldn't do anything while you were in that god damned coma! Six days! Six DAYS, I spent by your bed clutching your hand, dozing with my head by yours. I prayed constantly-"

Claire cut me off by putting her hand across my mouth.

"I'm so sorry. I thought that you didn't want me like I want you. You pushed me away and I didn't know about the promise you made Sam. The whole time I was with…I was with him. I kept thinking of you. The first time he…you know…I kept screaming for you, but you didn't come. He said… he said you wouldn't ever come for me. That you hated me and that you only imprinted on me because I was the most likely person you could pass the gene with."

I'm sure I looked like an idiot with my mouth hanging open.

"Did…did you believe him?" I whispered.

She nodded slowly, "At first. I thought you hated me Quil. I thought the pack hated me and now Brady is dead because of me because I was a selfish bitch who wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. God, and now I am so mad at myself that I really should have died instead of Brady. He didn't do anything wrong-"

"STOP! God, _Please _Claire…Don't talk like that. I couldn't live without you here baby." I was trembling. I was so tired of her doing this to herself. I gently rolled over so I was on top of her. I saw panic in her eyes.

"Claire, I will never hurt you. Do you trust me?"

She nodded.

I gently pressed my lips to hers. This was the first time we kissed in weeks every time I tried she would panic and I could see _him_ in her eyes. I pulled away and looked into her eyes, I saw fear, but I also saw love. I pressed my face into her neck and breathed in her scent.

"It still should have been me instead of Brady, Quil. You will _never_ convince me otherwise," She whispered into my hair and I stiffened. I rolled off of her and sat on the edge of the bed. I stood up slowly forming a plan in my head for her to see what it was like when the one you love was/is hurting.

"Stay right there. Don't move a millimeter. I'll know if you do."

I walked quietly into the kitchen and grabbed a sharp cutting knife. I brought it back into the bedroom with me and sat down beside Claire. I grabbed her arm and held it out next to mine. I pointed the knife deeply into the skin of my forearm and drug it across.

"Quil! Stop! Don't do this to yourself!"

When the cut was all the way across my arm I stopped and sure enough, on Claire's arm at the same spot I cut a bruise was forming. She was crying. I pulled her into my chest and held her tightly. Now she could see what an imprint bond really felt like. Now, maybe she knew how much it hurts to see her in pain. Whether it is physical or emotional. It still hurts. A few minutes later she stopped crying and there was a knock at the front door. Claire froze.


	18. Chapter 18: The Fear

_**OMG! I am SO superly duperly sorry that I haven't updated in so long! I have been so busy with school and my sister's baby was born so we are spending a lot of time with the new addition. Anyway here is Chapter 18 and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I need them! I need them to keep me going and inspire me.**_

Chapter 18: The Fear

Claire's POV:

There was a knock on the door and I froze. I started shaking in Quil's warm protective embrace. His arms tightened and he whispered soothing words. He let me go and I whimpered. I hated loud noises and every time someone visited I felt like he was going to come in and snatch me away again and this time Quil wouldn't be able to save me from whatever Zevran wanted me for. He walked to the door and opened it, it was the mail man. I felt like a baby whimpering and crying over something so stupid. I hate what I have become. While Quil was getting the mail, I slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw someone hideous. I was so damaged now. I wanted my mommy and my daddy. I wanted them to have been here to help protect me. But I couldn't protect them so I guess fair is fair.

Quil had walked in and stood behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck. He pressed a gentle kiss there.

"What's got you thinking so hard?" he whispered. His breath caused gooseflesh to ripple across my skin.

"How I wanted my parents to protect me from Zevran and how I couldn't protect them from the crash and thinking that fair was fair. I couldn't protect them and they couldn't protect me."

He turned me around to face him, I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine as if he was searching for something.

"Quil, what do you see when you look at me?"

He hugged me to him and whispered in my ear softly but passionately, "I see such a beautiful woman. I see a beautiful woman who was hurt and is still hurting because of some asshole. I see my soul mate. I see my best friend. I see everything I have wanted to be and more. I see a woman who doesn't value herself as much as she should. I see a woman who I could never live without."

By now I was in tears. I sobbed into Quil's chest and all I could say was "I love you" and "I'm so sorry". Quil just held me and kissed my hair.

"Baby, I need you to breathe. I love you so much Claire. Don't remember what that _thing_ did to you. What he did was not love sweetheart. I want to show you what real love is, but I am afraid that I will scare you and I don't want to do that. You are my angel that God sent to me and I will protect you until my body has been buried in the ground."

My heart swelled and I knew that I wanted to give myself completely to him but I was so afraid I would disappoint him. I mean, I knew Quil was a virgin and I wasn't anymore. Would he think differently of me? What would he expect me to do?

Slowly, I brought my head up to look at him. He looked down at me and his eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Don't cry Quil," I murmured. "Everything will be alright. I'm here and I love you."

"God, I love _you_ Claire. You and only you. Nothing will ever take you away from me again." He kissed me urgently. I could taste the salt from our tears. When he deepened the kiss I didn't pull away. I lifted his shirt and he pulled it off, groaning in protest when our lips were separated.

"Wait…Wait Claire… Are you sure?" Quil asked breathlessly.

"Positive."


End file.
